omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
