She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
This house was built for laser tag.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
