so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
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