your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
people are starting to question the shark bite story
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
