So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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