I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
