umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i will never coherently bang her
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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