If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
