Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
