so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
