also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
