"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she peed on how many people?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
