I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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