How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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