she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
