P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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