Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
