Christians are straight up FREAKS
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
