hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
