Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
