but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
