so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
