I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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