I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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