that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
apparently the secret to your success is patron
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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