i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
