Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
