So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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