you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
