I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The power of my boobs compel you
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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