Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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