She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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