Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
