Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
