My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
