Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
