Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Me too!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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