Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
