Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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