Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
