so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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