the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
