come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
