I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
