It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
