You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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