No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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