no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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