if only i could text you this smell
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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