If i come over, it means nothing
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
